Best Of Reddit: Who Would Win? - Top r/WhoWouldWin 1
by Aether in
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Last Updated on August 22, 2019 by Aether

Reddit is a site full of wonders, from outstanding facts to the strangest cat memes. But one subreddit that has caught on is r/whowouldwin, a subreddit full of all those late-night wonders we all have. Here you will find the strangest of questions with entirely plausible answers that make sense, which makes it brilliant to pass the time.

We’ve compiled some of the best r/whowouldwin questions along with the greatest responses.

A man who can summon any Noun vs a man who can do any Verb vs a man who can be any Adjective?

A battle of three 21-year-old males in an open field, to win, they must kill the other two men. All men are aware of the powers of the others.

The rules

  • They need to kill the two other men, without killing themselves.
  • Verbs, nouns, and adjectives can not be used to make them invincible.
  • Only one verb, noun, and adjective can be used at one time.
  • They must say what they’re going to do to use their power.
  • No adverbs allowed.

Round 1

Basic round with all rules in place

Round 2

Same as round 1 but with one extra word.

Round 3

Same as round 1, but you may also eliminate yourself as long as you kill your opponents.

Round 4

Same as round 3, but you may use words to make yourself invincible.

Upvotes: 3.1K

Best responses

u/SilentDumpling: Adjective man quietly whispers “better.”

u/Articunozard761: Verb guy: “Bested”

u/Laz0r_dick634: Noun guy: “The best”

Videogame logic no longer applies to video games. How far can the protagonists of their respective games get?

Every video game has some over optimised protagonist that can overrule every boss, either through training, gear, or loot, even when they’ve been beaten to death, they can res up and get back to the fight. But what if we were to take them away, how far would they be able to go?

The only exemption is that if their powers are incorporated in some lore linked to the hero.

With this in mind, there are five rounds relating to these changes.

Round 1

Which protagonist has the highest chance of beating the game?

Round 2

Which protagonist will probably die along the way?

Round 3

Who will encounter a section that is now impossible to complete due to the changes?

Round 4

Which protagonist would be out in the first level?

Round 5

What game will change the most?

Upvotes: 3.7K

Best response

u/TheBewlayBrothers: “Well every Assassins Creed protagonist is now dead.

Face, meet Haystack.”

Elsa (Frozen) vs Spider-Man (MCU)

To set the scene, Spider-Man is entirely unaware of who Elsa is, and has never watched Frozen. Elsa, on the other hand, is full of rage and knows all about Spider-man and the powers he possess’.

This battle of heroes is split into three rounds, each one different from the last. The battles take part in Arendelle, with a distance of 10 metres apart.

Round 1

Spider-Man in his standard form of Peter Parker. The battle takes part in Elsa’s castle.

Round 2

Spider-Man is now in his Homecoming suit, yet Elsa has 24 hours notice of the fight and has time to prepare her frost monsters.

Round 3

This round is the same as round 2, yet Spider-Man has now researched and watched Frozen.

Upvotes: 4.1k

Best response

u/ILookLikeKristoff: “Imo you’re all looking at Elsa wrong. She’s not a combat mage; she’s a conjurer/summoner. She can whimsically create real, sentient life and massive castles. And don’t forget she has already created monsters to fight for her during hours of using her powers, so this isn’t out of character for her.

She grew up in a fantasy/medieval world so she would have exposure (but probably not training) to concepts like sieges and the general principle of archers shooting down from castle walls. In R2&3 she has 24 hours to prep. That’s A LOT of snow golems and spear throwers alongside some seriously tall fortress walls.

Yes, Spiderman can basically one shot anything she has ever created. Can he brawl his way through thousands of them while hundreds of other conjures throw spears at him from above and Elsa is launching her AOE attacks from on high?

Conjurer skill tree>>>destruction skill tree in irl fights”

Who would win the presidency? A man who must use as many terms from Urban Dictionary as possible, or a man who can only speak in 17th century English.

As plainly as it seems. Both candidates are in the same party.

Upvotes: 4.1K

Best response

u/fantheories101: “We’ve seen the idea of being a political outsider who speaks his mind is appealing to conservatives based on Trump. I’m not bashing or supporting him; I’m just saying that was his appeal and still is his appeal to his proponents. Because of that, Urban Dictionary Man has some advantages.

17th Century Man, on the other hand, will come off as sounding very intellectual. We have seen in recent cultural climates that being overly intellectual is seen as a negative. People don’t want to elect someone who doesn’t seem relatable. It’s a common sentiment that intellectuals live in metaphorical ivory towers and don’t understand the plight of the common man.

Because of this, it’s a landslide victory for Urban Dictionary Man

Edit: as many people have pointed out, 17th Century Man may also have trouble communicating in his outdated language. While this hurts him with intellectuals, to the common voter, they don’t really care if what he says makes sense, just that he sounds aloof. Anyone who’s seen a political debate or rally knows that politicians talk out their asses and nobody really knows what they’re getting at half the time anyways”

The Penguins of Madagascar have 72 hours and the US military budget to find bin laden.

The loveable penguins from Madagascar are sent back in time, with only the intel that was available during that time. They will have access to all infrastructure and can use the military budget as they please. They can’t use fire guns. Riko can store in his stomach first aid kits, metal tubes, and two sticks of dynamite. They must go undetected, and they can’t just storm in.

Bin Laden will only have access to essential protection, such as AK-47’s and knives. His security team will surround him. They can’t let Bin Laden out of their sight as he does have a suicide vest that he hasn’t put on yet.

To succeed the penguins must capture Bin Laden alive. Would they fail?

Upvotes: 15.2k

Best response

u/asallthingshouldbe: “Given the fact that we can have Kowalski on analysis and Private on recon, this is a piece of cake. With billions of dollars to grease the wheels of bureaucracy, foreign or otherwise, they should have no problem extracting whatever information they need from the required sources. Adding an imperial fuck-ton of drones to the mix should speed things along a bit, so should be found within 48 hours. That gives them another 24 to kill Bin Laden.

I think Rico’s storage is worth mentioning a little. He hasn’t shown a lot of limitation in the movies. In fact, other than being unable to speak clearly, they don’t really show us his storage limits. He seems to never eat anything that he coughs up (although he probably is at some point?) and yet can produce a lit explosive upon command. So this guy is no joke. He doesn’t seem to choke on much either, even on bombs that are larger than both his beak and his head. So we’ll forget physics or any sense of reality (was there one here to begin with?) and just assume that Rico can eat any individual item up to the size of an 18-wheeler, although he’d have to take a few minutes to cough it up, and seems to have a practically limitless capacity. He also doesn’t seem to be weighed down with anything that he holds, either making him incredibly strong or giving him the ability to mitigate the physical properties of anything he eats. This is weird and not meant to be read into this far, so I won’t go much further. Suffice it to say, he routinely coughs up things far larger than himself without batting an eye, and I’ll just give Riko the limitations described above, with no adverse side-effects to himself.

In the movies we’re seen plenty of stealthy infiltration, and given the penguins’ small size it shouldn’t be a huge problem to get into the compound quickly and silently. Additionally, Rico could basically store an armored division inside his stomach given what we see in the show, so equipment is not a problem here. We can probably be able to get an enormous amount of grenades of multiple types, at least 2 long guns and a sidearm, and plenty of ammunition to the penguins.

2 days of prep should also be plenty of time to jerry-rig some sort of body armor for the penguins in case they do get in a firefight inside Bin Laden’s compound, meaning their survivability drastically goes up. If everything goes even moderately to plan, they should get into close contact with Bin Laden without being noticed. Even if the plan is discovered, we’re forgetting King Julian and Mort. They’ve shown themselves to be fantastic at destroying things in the movies, and armed with whatever it is that Riko can store in his stomach (which, may I remind you, seems to have basically no limit) they should have no problem annihilating anything that tries to escape. Given the penguins’ skill at combat, however, combined with the fact that they’re tiny, fast-moving targets, they should be basically impossible to take down accurately (certainly not all of them at once), and almost ensures that at least one reaches Bin Laden. At that point, it’s almost no contest.

To conclude,the penguins win. Perhaps with limited gear this could be a slightly bigger problem, but equipped and support the way that they are, they should be fine. They win in an outright firefight, which only occurs if they get spotted and don’t catch Bin Laden with his pants down. In fact, given how their movies and shows played out, it wouldn’t be uncharacteristic for them to wait in the bathroom undetected and quite literally catch Bin Laden with his pants down.”

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Aether has been playing World of Warcraft since 2006. In his youth he raided 7 days a week, but now just plays with friends doing Mythic dungeons and Arena. He swaps his main more often than he should.
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